UNDERSTANDING GOSSIP BY PR.DENIS KALUNGI

KIREKA CHRISTIAN FELLOWSHIP

Gossip

Gossip is sharing information that ought not to be shared. It may or may not be true. This is where we assume too much concerning gossip. Too many people think it's OK to share information that shouldn't be shared because they believe it is true.

There is a saying “speak little that you will remember when asked”

WHAT DOES GOD SAY ABOUT A GOSSIP

In the book of King Solomon {Proverbs 10: 19}, he quoted” in the multitude of words sin is not lacking, But he who restrains his lips is wise. A wholesome tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit. {Proverbs 15:4}

Proverbs 21:23 whoever guards his mouth and tongue Keeps his soul from troubles. Proverbs 25:23 As the north wind brings forth rain, so a backbiting tongue brings angry looks. Proverbs 18:8 the words of gossip are like choice morsels/wounds; they go down to the inmost parts. Proverbs 20:19 a gossip betrays confidence; so avoid anyone who talks too much & {Proverbs 11:13} A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret. Avoid Godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly {2 Timothy 2:16}

TYPES OF GOSSIP AND WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS?

How do we know that it’s gossip and not gossip? We can find severalBible verses about gossip, especially in Proverbs, and we can also ask God to reveal it to us. {James 1:5} mentions “If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.”

Have any of the types of gossip below been too tempting for you to resist lately? {Come back here when you’re done you can use them stop gossiping}

Slander

It’s defined as spreading rumors or lies about a person to cause damage purposely. The written form of it is slander. The Bible mentions slander countless times read {Colossian 3:8} “But now you must get rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. James 4:11 mentions it straight: “Brothers, do not slander one another.”

Dishing

“Dishing’ the dirt” basically means sharing the “juicy info” you learned about someone. Maybe the intent isn’t to directly cause damage, but by keeping the gossip alive, it continues to spread and taint/blemish the image of the person it’s about. Proverbs 20:19 mentions it “that a gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much. James 5:9 says, “Don’t grumble against each other, brothers, or you will be judged. The Judge is standing at the door!”

Rumors

You hear something, and it’s not good, and it’s also not confirmed as true. But you tell someone or ask someone else about it to get more info. The rumor mill turns and turns and the gossip spreads. Proverbs 13:3 says, “He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin.”

Backbiting

It’s a flavor of gossip that involves speaking spiteful or slanderous words about another who is not present and can do nothing in defense. It’s secretive, and the Bible actually mentions it by name in {Proverbs 25:23} “The north wind brings forth rain, and a backbiting tongue, angry looks.” Also: “Whoever secretly slanders his neighbor, him I will destroy; No one who has a haughty/proud look and an arrogant heart will I endure {Psalm 101:5}

Joking Jokes

Have you ever taken some part of the truth and turned it into a joke about someone that makes other question his character? It also serves as a passive way to spread more gossip. When the joking is harmful to another, it's a mockery. How can you know a mocker? It’s in the Bible {Proverbs 21:24} says, “Mockers are proud and haughty; they act with boundless arrogance.” And verse 9:8 says, “A mocker resents correction; he will not consult the wise.”

In addition, {Proverbs 22:10} says, “Drive out the mocker, and out goes strife; quarrels and insults are ended.” And {Psalm 1:1} states out: “Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers.”

WHY DO PEOPLE GOSSIP?

Paraphrasing something that I heard Pastor Rick Warren say, I believe these are the two real reasons why Christians gossip: Our problem is that: (1) we take ourselves too seriously and (2) we don't take God seriously enough.

Their lives became full of every kind of wickedness, sin, greed, hate, envy, murder, quarreling, deception, malicious behavior, and gossip {Romans 1:29}

Parasitic purposes, it’s in records that people gossip for a little benefit or a reward “Gossip is a parasite that requires a host organism to survive” 

Insecure, people feel insecure after what they did in secrecy have been revealed 

Immaturity, gossips/chatter are desperate and immature people. They need drama, love conflict and are so deeply unconfident they feel compelled to tell and spread false accusations and stories about others to feel a sense of superiority

Embellishment, some people do gossip to spoil other peoples names to secure for themselves cheap popularity 

WHAT ARE THE NEGATIVE RESULTS OF GOSSIP?

A troublemaker plants seeds of strife; gossip separates the best of friends. {Proverbs 16:28}. So many marriages have been broken because of gossip {Psalms 41:6} This puts it this way they visit me as if they were my friends, but all the while they gather gossip, and when they leave, they spread it everywhere.

So many companies have been collapsed because of gossip So many churches are short of God’s Glory because of gossip {Ephesians 4:29}

So many are walking to the journey of hell due to gossip because the word of God states it clearly {Psalms 1:1} blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers.”

People have lost jobs because of gossip. Gossip Destroys Reputations, if you know something juicy someone did over the weekend, it’s easy to feel like you have to tell others. We especially like it when we hear something that makes someone look bad {2 Corinthians 12:20} furthermore, It leads to death

WHAT DOES GOSSIP TEACH US?

Don’t judge people based on gossip.

Do not judge, or you too will be judged for in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you {Matthew 7:1-2}

If you should hear gossip about someone you don’t know, you have two choices: allow the gossip to determine what you believe, or let your personal experience determine what you think. The first time you have an experience with someone contrary to the gossip you’ve heard, you’ll be a lot more careful about spreading or believing the gossip the next time you hear it. {This means we have to sieve word spoken before comments}

WHY IS IT IMPORTANT TO STOP GOSSIP? 

To this day, every time we receive new members, I say the same thing. That's because I know what destroys churches. It's not cocaine, government oppression, or even lack of funds. Rather it's gossip and slander that grieves the Holy Spirit.

The Bible tells us we reap what we sow. with that in mind, this type of gossip is said in such a way to make the listener question or assume something about the character of a person. For example: Isn’t it weird how he keeps staring at your girlfriend when you’re not looking? 

James 3:5 mentions “Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. “Meaning the tongue is a small part of the body that if not carefully used can spread the fire. Solomon wrote this in Proverbs. Fire goes out without wood, and quarrels disappear when gossip stops {Proverbs 26:20}

A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can harm. By our speech, we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell {James 3:6}. Your mouth condemns you, not mine; your own lips testify against you {Job 15:6} meaning it will be your own words to judge you.

 But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the Day of Judgment for every empty word they have spoken {Matthew 12:36} an account for every useless word 

Life and death is under our tongue {Proverbs 18:21} put it this way: “The tongue has the power of life and death.” The stakes are high. Your words can either speak life, or your words can speak death. Our tongues can build others up, or they can tear them down. An unchecked fire door helps buildubles in size every minute

HOW SHOULD CHRISTIANS RESPOND TO GOSSIP

So if you ever hear anyone speaking an unkind word of criticism or slander against anyone — myself, an usher, a choir member, or anyone else—that you stop that person in mid-sentence and say, 'Excuse me — who hurt you? Who ignored you? Who slighted you? Was it Pastor Denis? Let's go to his office right now. He'll apologize to you, and then we'll pray together so God can restore peace to this body. But we won't let you talk critically about people who aren't present to defend themselves.'  

Mind Your Own Words

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” {Ephesians 4:29}. The one who guards his mouth and tongue keeps himself out of trouble.” {Proverbs 21:23} 

Acknowledge that it is gossip

The first step in responding to gossip as a Christian is to acknowledge that the conversation is gossip! Many times we find ourselves in the middle of conversations that take sudden turns. What starts as general chatter could quickly turn to “you know what I heard about so and so” type conversations. Listening to gossip is like eating cheap candy; do you buildable several biblewant junk like that in your belly?” {Proverbs 18:8 MSG}

In the same way, the women are to be worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything.” 1 Timothy 3:11

Confront Gossip and Shut it down

Once you’ve realized that a conversation is gossip take these two options:

1, Ignore it and walk away

2. Confront it and shut it down

Without wood a fire goes out; without a gossip, a quarrel dies down.”{Proverbs 26:20}. Do not spread false reports. Do not help a guilty person by being a malicious witness.”{Exodus 23:1}

Turn a Gossip into an Opportunity for Prayer

This one is much easier to do when responding to gossip among other Christians, but even among non-believers, prayer is also helpful. Once you’ve changed the subject or redirected the conversation to something more positive about the person, encourage the group to pray for that person. Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips.”{Psalm 141:3}

Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ. {Galatians 6:1-3}

CAN CHRISTIAN AVOID GOSSIP? YES THEY CAN, IF GOD’S WORD IS PUT INTO PRACTICE 

So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets {Mathew 7:12}

CONFESS 

Psalms 19:14

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer

PRAYER 

Psalms 141:3-4

Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lip to busy myself with wicked deeds in company with men who work iniquity, and let me not eat of their delicacies.